Laira Green Primary School

Tel: 01752 660427 Bramley Rd, Laira, Plymouth, PL3 6BP

Writing in Cherry Class

We have been using our story maps to retell the Russian folk tale, Ivan and the Firebird.  For this week’s writing task, Cherry class chose to write two paragraphs from the story.  The first is building tension as Prince Ivan approaches the fortress on his way to steal the Firebird from it’s cage and the second is the drama that unfolds as he gets caught.


Please read these four versions and enjoy the wonderful description within….

Ebonies Story

As Prince Ivan approached the towering fortress with cold, old, dilapidated walls, he could smell the wolves scruffy, damp fur and he could feel the cold, wet grass poking at his feet. He  started to climb up the dark gloomy walls of the mysterious fortress. As he got near the top, his hands were in pain for climbing about two feet wall. Then suddenly he heard a weird noise and that sound was coming from all of the snoring guards. Finally, he got to the top of the towering fortress and he saw the glimmering, sparkly golden cage. In the cage lay the miraculous firebird with his feathers glimmering in the moonlight. He took the firebird.T aking the cage, his eyes fell were distracted by the amazing shine of the jewels. He couldn’t resist but to grab the cage . . .

Suddenly, there began a hooting of trumpets and banging of drums. All of the guards were racing towards him with blazing sharp swords. Ivan thought this was the end, he felt all of the hot sweat dripping down his forehead. The guards grabbed. Ivan took a deep breath and he smelt fear!

The guards took him to their Tsar and his name was Tsar Kusman and he was furious. You could hear Ivans panting  heart because he was petrified. Quietly, Ivan got to his knees and told the Tsar why he had come.

By Eboni George

Cody Charlick

As Prince Ivan was trying desperately to climb the fortress wall, with his sweaty, drained and blistered fingers, he could smell the fluorescent scent coming from the meadows, fields and grasslands. Finally, Prince Ivan could see the ledge in sight; he leaped to it and gripped it with one hand, pulling himself up. Suddenly, as Prince Ivan was gasping for air, he broke out into a sweat. There it was: the firebird. This was the moment he was waiting for. He climbed into the attic, grabbed the firebird and the golden cage…

Drums rolled and trumpets blared and stunned Ivan as guards came thundering down the corridor. They took the confused Ivan to Tsar Afron and tried to take him prisoner but Ivan ran away with the firebird tensing at his chest. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his helper the wolf. He lunged onto the wolf who had a jaw that could wipe out any enemy, and they both bolted away.

By Cody Charlick

The Firebird

As prince Ivan silently crept up to the towering fortress walls. His hands were sweating as clouds tumbled over-head. Under the cover of darkness, he crept up to the fortress and started to climb the ice cold fort walls. When he reached the turrets, he could smell the pungent smell of smouldering firebird feathers, he smelt the sweet perfume of the beautiful banquet and he could hear distant music and the muffled sound of guards laughing. As he sprinted up a stone staircase, he found the dim light of the firebird. As he took the firebird, he can’t resist taking the crystal studded cage, but that was a mistake.

At once drums rolled and trumpets blared. Ivan could hear discomposed guards waving spears and axes. The firebird tensed in fear while burning prince Ivan’s chest. Sneakily, Ivan placed a mannequin with a guard outfit on it and the dumb guards left. He climbed over the wall and took a leap of faith and rolled and clambered onto the grey wolf and they escaped…    

By Isaac Bingley-Mewes

The Firebird Story

As Ivan approached, the fortress towered over him. He could see a cold, mossy, brick wall and lots of wilted flowers. Prince Ivan was invincible, he wasn’t afraid. Over the wall he went; his hands were sweaty because of the friction from the wall. On the grounds of the fortress, Ivan could hear the guards muffled snoring, coming from the big hall, where they party every day. As Prince Ivan climbed up the stairs,he smelt the lovely banquet from yesterday’s meal. He went up further and smelt a damp, mossy, pungent smell and cold air. Ivan made it to the sticky attic window. In he went. Clutching the firebird, he couldn’t resist taking the magnificent golden cage; out went his hands and “snatch.’’

Suddenly, drums rolled, and trumpets blared. Ivan could hear his own heartbeat every second. Out of the corner of his eye, guards were stomping with huge feet; they all had weapons with them.The smells of mouldy, damp clothes from the guards made Ivan clutch his nose in disgust. Sneakily, some of the guards caught Prince Ivan and took him away to the Tsar Affron.

By Lexie Ackland


This entry was posted on February 8, 2017 by in Uncategorized.

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